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The Road Goes Ever On....
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Sunday, October 02, 2005
LISZT EFFECT: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but
never really says anything important.
BRUCKNER EFFECT: Child speaks very slowly and repeats
himself frequently. Gains reputation for profundity.
WAGNER EFFECT: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually
marry his sister.
MAHLER EFFECT: Child continually screams - at great length
and volume - that he's dying.
SCHOENBERG EFFECT: Child never repeats a word until he's
used all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards.
Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames them for their
inability to understand him.
BABBITT EFFECT: Child gibbers nonsense all the time.
Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child doesn't care because all his
playmates think he's cool.
IVES EFFECT: the child develops a remarkable ability to
carry on several separate conversations at once.
GLASS EFFECT: the child tends to repeat himself over and
over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and
over and over and over and over again.
STRAVINSKY EFFECT: the child is prone to savage, guttural
and profane outbursts that often lead to fighting and pandemonium in
the preschool.
BRAHMS EFFECT: the child is able to speak beautifully as
long as his sentences contain a multiple of three words (3, 6, 9, 12,
etc). However, his sentences containing 4 or 8 words are
strangely uninspired.
THE CAGE EFFECT -- the child says nothing for 4 minutes, 33 seconds.
Preferred by 9 out of 10 classroom teachers.
8:12 PM
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